I have had a lot of fear in my life. I wasn’t aware I did until I started taking an honest look at myself and my true underlying motivations on a regular basis. This was not an easy skill to develop. I hadn’t tried to be honest with myself about these things before. Over time, I have discovered many fears underneath so many of my motivations.
Fear of failure has been a big obstacle for me over the years. It has kept me from trying to do the things I really want to do with my life. Allowing fear of failure to keep me from trying something is really the only failure.
I have to be honest about this with myself and be aware of when fear of failure is keeping me from trying something, especially the things I really want to do. The more I want them, the more fear I have of failing. This dynamic keeps me from pursuing my greatest dreams if I let it.
I must act despite my fear. Each act is an act of bravery. Each act is a counter to my fear, and the underlying belief I am not good enough. The more I do what I really want to do the more I can begin to tip the scales in favor of believing I can.
There is this powerful place between fear and inaction which allows for the idea we don’t know if we are good enough. Somehow, this can overshadow not doing something, failing, and proving we are not good enough. If it’s not proven, it’s unknown. If it’s not done it’s also unknown. I have lived in this liminal state much of my life.
However, the reality of starting something new or doing something to become better is that we will most likely not succeed in our first attempt. In fact, we will only learn through our attempts. Therefore, failure, in this way, is almost a requirement before success can be achieved.
Learning to try, learning from our tries is the bottom line here. Fear of failure must be accepted on some level, whatever that level is that keeps one from doing what they really want to do. And learning how to do it at the level they want to.
I share this as I experience it for myself in hope to nail it down a bit more firmly and share in hopes it helps spark something in someone else. It’s hard earned true self-knowledge, but it’s possible and definitely worth the work in my experience!