Some of my earliest memories are of Saturday morning cartoons. I knew when they came on it was Saturday and my dad hadn’t come to pick me up again. My mom would drive us over the hill on her red beetle to Santa Cruz and we would spend the day at the beach. I would eat slices of pizza and boogie board. I love the beach, in part, because of this. I feel like I “grew up” on the beach.
I was not in my son Goose’s life consistently. Struggles with illness and addiction played a role in this. In fact, I wasn’t even sure he was my son until I took a paternity test. I found out just before he turned two. Not being in his life was a huge motivation to change my life.
Sage will be turning two next month. I have been reflecting on how grateful I am to be in Sage’s life full time. The love and joy I feel with them is the highlight of my life!
After losing Goose I was eventually thankful for the time I did have with him, but had hoped to have more time with him, especially as he got older and could choose what he did. I had imagined us only getting closer over time. Just as my Dad and I have reconnected all these years later.
I cherish the opportunity to be a full time Dad. I try to make quality time daily, be present and engage them. I am learning the power of bonding with a child is one of the greatest experiences and values in life. Children need our love and attention. And when we give it to them we get the gift of their love and attention too : ) we get to experience the freedom of feeling childlike again!